Monthly Archives: January 2014
One of the feelings we often have as parents is Guilt. Guilt that we are not spending enough time with our children, guilt about the food we feed our children or even guilt about losing our temper with our children.
As parents we often forget that we are humans too, and that with our humanity comes mistakes. We can’t (and wont) always be the perfect parent that we want to be. Work, relationships, hormonal fluctuations, mental health issues, and financial stress can cause layer, upon layer, upon layer of stress that can impact on our ability to parent at an optimal level.
As a result we can sometimes only parent at a “good enough” level. That is we can only do the best we can do at the time under the circumstances. So, if as parents we are sometimes faced with adversity but the quality of our parenting behaviour is still adequate then our children should not be compromised.
In addition it is extremely powerful to admit to our children that “we got it wrong”.
It models to them that it’s ok to make mistakes, that it’s not the end of the world. In addition it teaches our children how to make amends in relationships and gives permission for imperfection.
So next time you are feeling guilt around your parenting be gentle with yourself and remember that sometimes you can only do the best you can do at the time and that is good enough!!
If you have young people in your family who hurt, intimidate or abuse you there are two parenting programs which may help you regain control in your family and increase your conflict resolution skills.
Centacare will deliver the 8 week Who’s In Charge parenting course for parents of children 8 – 25 years in 2014 in metropolitan Adelaide. The course is based on the work of Eddie Gallagher, a Victorian social worker and one of the first parenting specialists in Australia to acknowledge adolescent violence in the home. The course addresses parents’ feelings of guilt and isolation, clarifies boundaries of acceptable and unacceptable behaviour, develops family capacity and identifies practical strategies for change in a positive and supporting environment.
The Who’s In Charge course is for parents who feel constantly challenged by their children’s behaviour. It also addresses threatening behaviour, emotional and physical abuse, dealing with powerful emotions including anger and rage and builds individual plans for safer families.
If you are troubled by your adolescent’s extreme behaviour this is the course for you.
Contact Centacare for information about the Who’s In Charge course in 2014.
If you want to know more about the work of Eddie Gallagher please click on the link http://www.eddiegallagher.id.au/
2014 will also herald a new program to address young people’s violence and abuse in the family. The Walking on Eggshells Project will be piloting Step Up for SA beginning March 2014. The group program is based on the successful Step Up – Building Respectful Family Relationships program developed by Lily Anderson and Greg Routt in the USA and has been adapted for South Australia offering young people and their parents a 13 week cognitive-behaviour intervention program. This program uses a Restorative Practice model of accountability, competency development and family safety aimed a decreasing violent behaviours and increasing pro-social behaviours. The program has a two-fold focus:
- to help young people learn about the impact of violent behaviours in the family and adopt pro-social behaviours
- to assist parents with skills to support behaviour change in the family.
The pilot program starts in early March 2014 at Hindmarsh. For further information and referral contact Rosalie O’Connor, Step Up for SA Co-ordinator at firstname.lastname@example.org
If you want to know more about the work of Lily Anderson and Greg Routt go to www.kingcounty.gov/courts/stepup/Curriculum.aspx